


my captain is the centerfold

by DabblesinDrabbles



Category: Chicago Blackhawks - Fandom, Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:49:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6262921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DabblesinDrabbles/pseuds/DabblesinDrabbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jonny "Captain Serious" Toews poses for the Body Issue of ESPN Magazine, Patrick has some trouble keeping it together</p>
            </blockquote>





	my captain is the centerfold

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm not even sure what brought this fic to life? I heard the song "Angel is the Centerfold" and immediately thought of Patrick and Jonny. Partially inspired by Tyler Seguin's photo shoot for the Body Issue (what a gift)  
> This is my first "real person" fic so I hope I don't offend anyone (I love the Blackhawks) and that its not too terrible. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this and please feel free to leave any comments, criticisms, or advice! I hope you enjoy it!

            Kaner knew he shouldn’t have opened the email; anything emailed from Shawzy marked as urgent could never lead to anything good. He choked on the pizza that was halfway in his mouth; there on his phone screen bare for all the world to see was Captain Serious himself. After grabbing a few gulps of water and some much needed air Patrick finally looked back at the picture Shaw had sent him with only a winking face to accompany it. Jonathan Toews his face still stoic as he stared down the camera almost daring it to laugh was naked, not only that but he was naked on the ice of the United Center Rink. Their rink, the place Patrick would obviously never be able to look at again after seeing this photo. He looked down at his sweat pants and gulped, he was going to call Jonny but first he suddenly needed a long shower.

            “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal Kaner,” Jonny’s voice sounding tinny through the phone line all the way in Canada, “Seguin did it so when I got the call I wasn’t going to turn it down.” Patrick looked up the ceiling, trialing his hand down his face in frustration, how could Jonny not see this as a big deal? He was naked for everyone and their mother to see; oh God Kane couldn’t stand the thought of his Mom picking up Jonny’s magazine spread. He had been so busy fuming he hadn’t heard Jonny calling his name, “Kane. Kaaaane. Patrick!” Patrick straightened up at the use of Jonny’s “Captain Serious” voice; he had been missing it a little since they were on summer break. “Sorry, sorry I’m here. It’s just weird man, I mean they called you a Hockey Hottie from The Great White North, isn’t that weird?” He could hear Jonny’s cringe through the phone and smirked, but Jonny quick as a whip retorted, “Well anything is better than Captain Serious right?” as he began laughing at his own joke, Patrick knew if anyone saw his face they would describe it as disgustingly fond.

            Patrick had gotten enough chirping text messages from his teammates about Jonny’s cover of The Body issue for ESPN magazine each one more scandalous than the last, even Panarin had sent him a series of odd emojis to decipher. He was at least happy to know that if he was getting chirped this bad Jonny was going to be tortured when they were all back together for practices in a week. He had bought three of Jonny’s issues, hiding his face and hair each time and told himself it was only because he was supporting his best friend. He knew he was attracted to Jonny, had stopped denying it a long time ago but there was a sense of possession now. The idea that Jonny’s body was being seen worldwide made Patrick feel uncomfortably and irrationally angry. He had tried to talk to his sisters and his Mom but they all agreed that he should just go ahead and tell Jonny how he felt, well Jessica had told him to climb Jonny like a Canadian tree but the sentiment was the same. He could think of a million reasons why that would never work, the most important being Jonathan Toews was as straight as a line. No, when he finally saw Jonny in person again he’d chirp the hell out of him and try to keep the image of Jonny naked under lock and key.

            Their first practice back was tame, they were all mostly talking and catching up over their summers as Jonny and Coach pretended to bark orders. The rest of the guys hadn’t said one word to Tazer about his magazine spread and honestly it annoyed Patrick, if he had done the body issue he would’ve been teased into next season. Maybe it was his frustration at the lack of chirping or maybe it was some of kind of death wish but as they all headed to the locker room after practice Patrick began humming “Angel is the Centerfold” under his breath making sure Jonny heard it, getting louder as they all changed out of their practice gear. Jonny only turned and raised his eyebrows, smirking at Patrick as if he had some information that Patrick didn’t. Kane pouted and stopped humming focusing instead on betting with Ladd about how long it would take for Shaw to drop gloves with someone this season.

            Patrick made sure to sing and hum “Angel is the Centerfold” every time he saw Jonny; even when they hung out in each other’s apartments after playing a few rounds of Mario Kart he made sure an audible “na na nuh na na na” could be heard. Jonny only cracked and asked Patrick why he kept singing that 80s song once after Patrick had distracted him enough to have missed the net at practice but Patrick had only winked and said “because Tazer, you’re my angel.” Patrick could have sworn Jonny’s face turned pink at that but it was gone as quick as it had come after Jonny tripped him with his stick and glided away. Patrick would have let it go eventually if it wasn’t still being talked about it in the press. Deadspin of course grabbed on to the story but even the more prolific sports news outlets like NBCSports began asking him how he felt about his Captain showing the world his Stanley Cup. Kane did have to admit that particular headline had been his favorite.

            Patrick had thought he was doing a good job of hiding how distracted he was by Jonny, he had seen him naked millions of times but the photos in the article had been so artful and vulnerable, it had been like seeing a new side of Jonny. They won their first game but Patrick had rolled his ankle doing an overly enthusiastic or in Jonny’s word dumbass, celly. He knew he would be able to play in the next game with no problem, he had worse he still shuttered at remembering his broken collarbone, but getting back to his apartment alone was not going to happen. Jonny insisted on driving his car and making he sure he made it into his apartment and into his room. Patrick hadn’t thought about how the issues of the magazine were still on his bedside table too caught up in listening to Jonny’s voice until Jonny stopped suddenly mid sentence. Patrick’s eyes shot up from the bedside table to Jonny’s face, searching frantically for any sign of what Jonny was thinking. Jonny face blank as usual sucked in a sharp breath and turned back towards the living room and out the door before Patrick could say a word.

            The worst part of all of it is that Patrick knows he deserved it, he knows keeping the magazines by his bed and looking at them every night was wrong but he never expected Jonny to find out about his stupid feelings. He calls out of practice the next day turning off his phone after the fifteenth text from Shaw asking what’s wrong and determines to drown himself in blankets and ice cream. He feels like a teenager again eating away the pain of being rejected but he cant care. His best friend at best thinks he’s a stalker and at worst will never want to speak to him again all over a stupid magazine. By the time there’s a knock on his door the sun has gone down and Patrick hasn’t left his nest of blankets all day, he ignores the knocking hoping whoever they are will just go away and let him wallow in peace. “Really Kaner? Are you five?” Jonny’s warm voice scares him off of the couch, “You were moping so I used the key you gave me.” Patrick doesn’t look up as he hears Jonny sink into the couch in his usual spot. Jonny sighs, “Patrick, I think we need to talk.”

            Patrick only nods as he rights himself and wraps his blanket tighter around his body, if he’s getting rejected at least he’ll be comfortable while it happens. He hears Jonny softly laugh and feels a warm hand fluff his hair, Patrick cant help but lean into the touch like he always has. Jonny’s hand leaves his hair and grips his own knees tightly; he’s searching for his words so Patrick waits. They sit together knees almost touching like they’ve done a million times before but this time feels more important. Patrick still can’t look at Jonny, terrified of the disgust he’ll see in the usually fond if exasperated brown eyes. It seems finally that Jonny has made a decision as his hand reaches toward Patrick again, Patrick almost flinches expecting a slap or a punch but he doesn’t expect Jonny to softly tilt his chin up and he definitely didn’t expect the chapped but warm lips on his.

            Later, when they’ve made a mess of Patrick’s blanket nest of supposed unrequited love and are cuddling together playing Mario Kart; Jonny snorts suddenly and pauses the game. “So,” his voice filled with a warmth and mischief that Patrick isn’t sure how he’d missed over the years, “is the real thing better than the magazine Kaner?” Patrick just punches him in the shoulder and takes advantage of Jonny distractedly nuzzling into his curls by restarting the game and taking the lead. “I don’t know Jonny, I guess I’ll just have to see it again wont I?” It takes months for the team to stop chirping them about finally cluing in to the obvious but when Shawzy changes Jonny’s ringtone in Patrick’s phone to “Angel is the Centerfold” Patrick just cant find the time to change it.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sandsoftatooine


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